I'm lost right now, not in the "which way is North?" or "where is my car in this infernal lot?" but more in the "oh crap, my life has not panned out as I planned." Waking up and realizing that there is a part of you, and you don't know exactly how big that part is, that you don't recognize, and even harder to explain, is potentially antithetical to who you thought you were. I don't know what I should be doing- what do you do when everything that you thought you wanted turns out to not even come close to fulfilling all your wildest dreams? Do you stick with it hoping that after a rough start, everything will indeed right itself and life will resume as planned and expected? Or do you begin to look deeper and ask some really sticky questions that you may not like the answers to?
I'm currently embarking on a journey that will have me doing both of these things- continuing along the path I'm on and along the way, asking all sorts of sticky questions and carefully listening for the answers. I don't know where this is going to take me and I certainly don't know how I'm going to feel about the outcome, but I'm on it none the less. I'm going to need a lot of prayer.